Folded Laundry

10 Reasons I Don't Get Enough Sleep

The sacrifices we make as moms are endless. These sacrifices can become especially noticeable at night, in the wee hours, when we are forced to leave our warm and comfy beds and interrupt our precious few hours of blissful unconsciousness. I've realized these are my top 10 reasons for getting out of bed in the night...

1. "Mommy, I can't find my teddy bear."
2. "Mama- I need to pee. No, you have to come...because its DARK!"
3. I have to pee.
4. Baby wants to nurse.
5. Turn on the fan for my husband.
6. Turn off the fan because I'm shivering.
7. Kick the dog off the bed.
8. Fight for blankets.
9. Urine, vomit, someone's thirsty...pretty much pick a fluid, going out or in...and I end up out of bed.
10. I have to pee...again.

I don't believe I will ever rest peacefully again. These reasons only seem to change as my children age, instead of disappearing. While I grumble and stumble around in the dark now, I dread the future nights spent out of bed for a missed curfew, screaming girly slumber parties, and the quiet emptiness when they move out. 

What/who keeps you up at night? 

A Death In The Family

We recently (see:last night) lost a loved one. The deceased was discovered on the floor of a closet at roughly 9 am...cause of death unknown.

 

Meet Strawberry...

We rescued this furry little nugget from my in-law's gardening shed. It may or (as I later learned) may NOT have been abandoned by it's mama. In his excitement over finding such an adorable little specimen of rabbit, my husband neglected to fully investigate the rest of the shed in search of it's mommy. Instead, he scooped it up for keeps. He later recalled what he described as a possible adult rabbit hiding in the vicinity, but seeing as he didn't feel compelled to poke it with a stick to assess it's being alive or an inanimate object, he felt zero remorse over kidnapping it's baby.

He and Kenzie bounded into the house, abduction victim in hand, to share with me the fuzzy cuteness. Without question, it was coming home with us. 

Strawberry spent his/her next few days with us escaping the confines of it's temporary shelter from our previous rescue creature, the cat. It brought much joy to our family in it's short....oh 48 hours or so... spreading rabbit turds around my freshly mopped living room floor, eliciting endless giggles from our 3 year old as it ate baby carrots, and eluding me for at least half an hour in our master closet during one recon mission to return it to the safety of the box. 

S/he spent the night before it's death escaped and exploring our shower, safely locked away from the rest of the animals that occupy the house. Sadly, his/her body was discovered on the floor of the closet this morning....asleep. Or at least that is what I told our daughter. However tragic it's death, I am thankful beyond measure that we didn't find it maimed, injured, or in the scene of some horrific bloodbath brought on by our boxer. 

As far as my daughter is concerned, we located it's bunny mom and sent it happily hopping into the woods by our house after a heart warming reunion. 

I haven't decided yet if that was the right thing to tell her. She is a smart little cookie and knew something was up when I called for Daddy after finding Strawberry napping (with it's eyes open...yikes). After a few tears over how much she will miss her bunny, and a few longing glances out the window to try and spot it with it's mommy, she seemed to accept that Strawberry wasn't going to be living with us any longer.

It probably also helped that in my guilt we made an emergency run to Walmart to purchase a fish tank, fish, and supplies in my hopes that something else to feed would distract her from any Strawberry bunny memories. 

Overall I was feeling quite successful in my mission to cope with our first dead pet and was happy to replace it with a lower maintenance animal...until I asked her to name the fish...

Meet Strawberry...

 

 

Anyone else ever experienced the death of a pet/animal with a toddler? How did you explain it? Did you lie like me?

5 Lies I Tell My Kids

No one likes a liar.

lie  [lahy]  Show IPA noun, verb, lied, ly·ing.noun

1.a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; anintentional untruth; a falsehood.

2.something intended or serving to convey a false impression;imposture: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.

3.an inaccurate or false statement.

We all lie, however harmless, and occasionally even to those people we love the most. What more innocent victims could there be than our children? I've lied to mine, have you? How many of these have you thrown out there? (Come on, be HONEST.)

1. The stork brought you to us. How ridiculous, but I've said it. Sure I've tried to explain to my daughter that she was a blessing to us from God, or the result of Mommy and Daddy loving eachother VERY much, but inevitably this leads to many more uncomfortable questions about just how she came to be in my belly and how exactly it was that she came out...and from where? These questions were especially prevelent while I pregnant with her little sister, so I did it, I threw out the stork. "Yes Princess, a giant bird carried you through the air, tied up in nothing but some cloth, and dropped you into Mommy's arms from the sky." (Because that is much less terrifying than the truth about childbirth...enormous baby stealing birds, free falling and all..

2.If you keep making that face, it's going to get stuck that way. Not possible, but wouldn't it stink if that were true?!

3.Dora's not on right now/the cable's out because if I hear The Map sing it's little song, or hear Dora instruct my kid to shout at the TV with her one more time, I'm going to lose it.

4.There's no ice cream/popsicles/cookies left. Similar to above...and will only work until she is old enough to search the upper shelves I currently hide things on.

5.The Legends. Santa Clause/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy. Even if you aren't guilty of 1-4, you've probably told your kids one of these, even if you question whether or not you should, simply because society (grandma or grandpa, the TV, or their little friends) already told them all about this wonderful fictional character. How long you keep this one up for is really up to you and depends on how gullible your little one is. 

 

So we've established it, we lie to our children, some more than others. What are some of the funny lies you were told as a child? What whoppers are you telling your children now? Share!

 

A Day In The Life

While playing on Babycenter I saw that they offer a few schedules for moms based on the ages and feeding styles of their children. I didn't find them helpful in the least, actually even scoffed at a few of them, SO unrealistic. I thought I'd share one of my own as if my 3 year old were writing it for me, ya know..so it's actually honest, and these new/expectant moms can see what they REALLY have to look forward to.

Schedule for breastfeeding mother of an 8 month old, with older child. (That's how they describe the schedules on the website).

8 am: Wake up. Do so by sitting up in bed and yelling at the top of your lungs for either Mommy or Daddy. Only accept the person you were yelling for, should Mommy come when you were calling for Daddy or vice versa, hide under covers and scream that you want the other person-refuse to leave the bed. Once requested parent arrives, be carried down the stairs because it is much too early for your legs to function properly.

8-9 am: Eat breakfast. Ask for a banana (but don't eat it), ask for a muffin (but don't eat it), finally, ask for cereal-Lucky Charms (pick out and eat only the marshmallows) then request more. Cry when you are told to eat the cereal in your bowl. Go sit on couch and request "milky." REALLY cry when you are also refused this. Spill cereal...laugh.

9-10 am: Watch Veggie Tales, help Mommy clean, strip off your pajamas and ask to play outside. Don't eat the snack provided to you by Mommy, find one of your own choosing (specifically chips that Daddy left out) and eat them sneakily in your play room. Ask Mommy to put you in the sling and carry you too since you know this is impossible. Refuse all requests to play with baby sister.

10-11 am: Play or color while Mommy puts Klara down for a nap. Make as much noise as physically possible..banging on the metal diaper trash can lid is not out of the question...you love to drum. 

11-12 Lunch. Ask Mommy what she is making for "munch." Say you hate it, whatever it is she tells you. Ask for Mac and Cheese. (If she does happen to be making mac and cheese, say you hate that too). Only eat a few forced bites while telling Mommy stories at the table, ask again to go outside. Encourage baby sister to bang on her high chair, provide her with utensils if necessary, laugh hysterically when she smears food in her hair.

12-1 pm: Finally concede to deal that if you put on clothes you can play outside. Put on outfit and head outside to play. Find dirt...roll in it. Bonus points for grass stains, dandelions and if you can find any dead animals to touch.

1-3 pm: Nap. Cry and whine that you don't want to take a nap all the way to your room. Lay down, attempt to fight sleep, but pass out within 10 minutes. Snore...loud.

3-4 pm: Laundry. This is a "team sport" Whatever Mommy folds and sets into basket-pull it out, unfold it and throw it around the room. Ready...GO! (If Mommy really starts to look crazy say you're trying to "help" and wad up a few items. If she smiles and let's you help, sorry but game over. If she tells you to go play with your sister...run.)

4-5 pm: Dinner prep. Ask Mommy what she's making for dinner. Before she can answer, request whatever was NOT purchased at the grocery store. Stay in kitchen while Mommy tries to cook. Ask to stir, stand dangerously close to the oven, and pull random ingredients out of the pantry, ask if you can eat them. 

5-6 pm: Eat dinner. Ever wanted to try food art? Now's the time. The less you eat, the more art supplies you have. Construct a masterpiece while telling Daddy all about your day. Ignore all requests from Mommy to sit down and eat. Hungry later? Don't worry, Daddy will give you secret snacks when Mommy puts your sister to bed.

6-7 pm: Bath time. Say no when asked if you have to use the potty. Climb into tub. Scream that you have to pee. Get placed on potty while your feet drip all water all over the floor, return to tub. Place bubbles on your sister's head, cry if any water touches your eyes, line up your rubber ducks and yell if the baby even looks at one of them. Stay in tub as long as possible, pout when Mommy brushes the tangles out of your hair. Grudgingly put on pajamas.

7-8 pm Bedtime for baby sister. This is the magic hour. Remember those snacks after dinner? Ask Daddy for them. Eat popsicles, popcorn, and drink soda with Daddy while watching cartoons...don't worry, if you don't tell Mommy, neither will he, she could be upstairs with Klara for over an hour! 

8:30 pm Bedtime. Be carried to bed, it is now too late for legs to work. Have a melt down if Huggle Bear cannot be located immediately. Request a special pillow, then switch that pillow with Mommy's when she isn't looking. Fight sleep, talk to Mommy and Daddy. Finally fall asleep, throw limbs about as much as possible. Rest, you have to do this all again tomorrow.

 

 

5 Things I've Learned From My Husband

I don't like to admit it, but I've learned a few things from my husband. I suppose that is proof then that I am not as big of a "know-it-all" as I like to think. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Little girls can get dirty too. I am prissy, I treat my daughters as if they are equally as prissy. I take time choosing their outfits for the day, putting their hair in cute little hairstyles (or bows on their head until they get hair), and I keep them clean. 

Kenzie is 3 now and gradually taking more and more control over her own little life. She doesn't always want to wear what I've picked out, throws a fit if I try to style her hair, and she LOVES to get dirty. 

It hasn't been easy for me to let go, but slowly, I am. I can now proudly say I have let her out of the house to play in some very hideous outfits of her own choosing, clapped for her when she showed me her collection of about 50 "squirmy wormies," and have conceded that I will just need to be extra diligent at bath time while scrubbing the dirt out from under her nails. All of this, thanks to my husband, who is perfectly happy to see her moments of tomboyishness and can't wait for the day he can put her on a dirt bike or teach her to shoot a gun. (After she gets home from ballet lessons of course.)

2. To ask for help when I need it. I don't like to ask for help, ever. "I can do it all and I can do it better than you," is typically my mentality. Since having our second child though, I have been humbled by my husband and learned to ask for help. 

My husband has no trouble asking me for help when it comes to the kids. He will gladly hand over the baby, look to me when there's a dirty diaper, or ask me to take both kids on my errands so he can get some extra work done. 

He has also pointed out to me my inability to do the same, unfortunately, more than a few times. He sees my frustration when I take on everyone's problems and try to do everything at once, and he laughs at me because he says I will stand in a room or follow him around the house with the baby with longing eyes, but never once asking him to hold her. 

His ability to seek assistance and his adept evaluation of my lacking in this area has made me realize it is perfectly alright to ask for help and realize that no I can't clean the kitchen, do the laundry, help my daughter color and hold the baby all at the same time.

3. To not take myself so seriously. If you know my husband, then you know that he is goofy. I am not without a sense of humor, but mine tends to be more sarcastic, witty, and much less all out silly than his. While adults appreciate my humor, our children ADORE his. 

I've learned that I don't have to always worry what people will think and just have fun. While I still haven't mastered his talent of composing songs with the kids' names in it at the top of his lungs, I let loose more often with a dance party and giggle fest with the kids...even when other people are watching.

4. I don't have to be perfect. Not as a mom, or as a wife. They love me. This seems to be an ongoing lesson in my life, because I am an acclaimed perfectionist. 

When it comes to being a mom I am sometimes overwhelmed that I am not doing enough, or at least not doing it PERFECTLY enough, for my children. I have to do the very best for my kids. I try to read baby books, attempt to make my own baby food, breast feed, try to teach them sign language, homeschool...the list goes on forever. If someone else is doing it, you'd better believe I am too, or have at least tried it. 

My husband on the other hand is not at all concerned about being perfect. So the baby's diaper is on backwards? It's on isn't it? It's just going to catch pee and poop anyway. 

Instead of feeling exhasperated with his nonchalance about parenting, I've taken a few lessons from it. No we don't cloth diaper, yes my first baby was bottle fed after the first 4 months of colic, I buy jars of baby food (but still only organic lol), and the only sign language my kids seem to have picked up is the word "more." Go figure. 

When it comes to being a wife, I know I still have a long way to grow in our marriage. It is comforting to have learned from my husband that he still thinks I look as good as the day he met me, that I look cute (and smart even!) in my reading glasses, and he could take or leave the whole make-up thing. These superficial reassurances help me to understand that he married me for me, and that as long as I continue to try to be myself and a GOOD wife, there is no need for me to be the PERFECT wife.

and last but not least...

5. When the gas guage says E, you still have at least 20 miles worth of gas. Ask him how many times I've had to rescue him after he ran out of gas on the side of the road, and he still will stick to this theory.

The last time I checked, E meant EMPTY, but not to my husband. He teaches me this when he returns my vehicle to the house on E, when he suddenly announces on a road trip that we "need to find a gas station soon," and when he calls curbside to ask if we still have that gas can in the car. 

Ah yes, my husband has taught me a great many things about life, love and parenting. For this, I am eternaly grateful. I only hope he has picked up on a few lessons from myself as well, although I will keep working on the "how to put your dirty clothes in a hamper or clothes basket" concept. 

What is the most important thing you have learned from your husband? Leave it in the comments below, tweet, or facebook me!

 

Teething-A Real Pain In The...Mouth

It's official! 

Klara has sprouted her first tooth! Bottom left and pearly white! The teeny little razor blade made its debut today as she gnawed on a tube of toothpaste. (I know, interesting choice of baby teether.)

We have been lucky. Our kids haven't been terrible teethers. I don't know whether to attribute this to genetics, luck, or stellar parenting skills. I am always hearing horror stories from other mothers and reading endless tweets and facebook posts about teething nightmare children and the horrors they inflict upon their parents. 

Just in case we are doing something right and somehow our kids are in less pain than others, I thought I'd share what we do for our little ones when the chompers start making their way out.

Photo credit

Mesh baby feeders. These things are a lifesaver! They are technically meant for feeding your baby solids without having to mush them up first or cut them into a bajillion teeny tiny pieces. I started using them for teething. I've stuck everything from crushed ice to frozen banana chunks into these and let me tell you...hours of teething discomfort relief. Some of our kids' quietest moments have been while biting/sucking on one of these bad boys. All that's required to use these is a grip, which most babies have mastered by the time they truly start teething. You can find these at Walmart, Target, Toys R Us or order them online here.

Photo credit

Teething biscuits. Organic, calcium rich, no added sugar, no artificial crud, wheat free (unless you buy the wheat instead of barley ones), kosher, and individually wrapped. Need I say more? Our kids LOVE these. Thankfully they come wrapped in packs of two because when I give one to our 8 month old my 3 year old says her "teeth hurt" and insists she needs one too. Not sure what it is about these that help teething, but both our kids loved to bite on these. You can find them at Whole Foods or any organic based grocery store (sometimes even Walmarts and Targets) or you can order them online here.

A frozen wash cloth. Yes, you read that right. Wet a wash cloth (the really soft baby ones seem to work best), wring it out, and pop it in the freezer. Take it out and let baby enjoy! I've found that this works better than those freezable teething toys.

Photo credit

Hylunds teething tablets and gel. Yes, I am aware there was a recall on these at one point...but on the COLIC tablets, not the teething..so still safe. I don't know that these really do anything or if it's some sort of parental placebo we're seeing, but we like them. In fact, my husband refers to them as "baby be good pills." They dissolve in baby's mouth, so no force feeding necessary, just pop them in. We only use the tablets when desperate or before bed. We like to use them in place of our very last resort, baby Tylenol. I keep a bottle in the diaper bag and one on the changing table and give 2 at a time when necessary. They seem to calm the baby enough at least to relax and nap it off. These can be purchased at Walgreens, Walmart, Target or ordered here.

The gel works similar to baby orajel (except natural). I am not a fan of orajel, I hate how it makes my tongue and lips numb and it seems to freak our kids out. 

Infant tylenol. This is our last resort. We save this until we can actually see a little tooth under the surface and baby seems to be terribly uncomfortable, or if they have a slight temperature presumably from teething. We give the smallest dose possible for their weight limit and typically try to hold off giving it until right before bedtime just to help them sleep when all other tricks have failed. I am not a big fan of medications, but for those that are, it's perfectly safe to administer it as you see fit every 4 hours.

So there you have it, our teething regimen. With any luck, I've just shared a new teething tool with you that can ease some of those tear filled days and nights with your teething baby. Feel free to leave a note in the comments if you have any special products or tricks you've used with your children!

 

5 Things To Thank Your Mother For

When Hallmark just won't cut it, here are 5 things you can thank your mother for that will actually mean something!

1. Her time. Time is money...right? How much time did your mother spend raising you? If you're a mom, how much time do you spend with your children? I'm not talking about those warm fuzzy moments both parties enjoy, where you just want to wrap the whole family up in a great big hug and press pause to relive it forever. I'm talking about the time moms spend with the wailing baby, the sick toddler, the rebellious teenager or the heartbroken adult. All the times you were less than desirable company and all the times she would much rather have been doing anything but caring for you. Thank her.

2. Her sacrifice. What has your mom given up for you? Can't think of anything? Are you a mother yourself? Look no further than a mirror in that case. See those stretch marks? That extra 5 pounds you can't seem to shed? Those bags under your eyes? If you're a mom, you've been there, if you haven't, let me fill you in. That frizzy hair, slept in make up, and spit up stained sweat ensemble your mom often sported wasn't the latest fashion or your mother's noncomformist rebellion against the luxury of a daily shower, it was what she gave up for you. She sacrificed her body for 9 months (longer in some of our cases), her perfectly coiffed hair and her wardrobe while she put your needs first. This on top of countless other sacrifices I am sure she can fill you in on, is reason enough to thank her. 

3. Her love. No one ever, in your whole entire life, is going to love you the way your mother does. She loved you from the moment she knew you were forming inside her. This unconditional love she harbors and angelic pedastal she places you upon undeservedly, are in no way a reflection of her blindness to reality, but her unrestrained adoration of everything you are. Whether you realized it at the time or not, this powerful love is the same reason, in many of life's scenarios, no one would do for comfort like mommy would. Thank her.

4. Her courage. Think your mom is a wuss? Think again! She may not be a notorious right fighter, maybe she's scared to death of heights, but your mother is BRAVE. It takes true courage to be a mother. From the moment you were brought home from the hospital your mother exhibited incomparable bravery. She changed your diapers, fed you, taught you, and cared for you all while pretending she knew exactly what she was doing, no matter how clueless and overwhelmed she really felt. It doesn't end there. Her courage is tested daily. From the time she stood back and held her breath as you took your first steps, to the time she handed over the car keys, or watched you walk down the aisle at your wedding, your mother was ferociously brave. Thank her.

5. Her life. Let's face it, without her, there would be no you, but besides that, the life that she lived served as an example to you, a guide book of to-do's and not-to-do's. Her gentle coaxing, sympathetic ear and sometimes swift kick in the you know what, are the very reason the voice you hear in your head (your conscious) often oddly resembles your mother's. Thank her.

I don't know your mother's age or her health, but I do know that your time with her is precious and finite. Someone else out there realized this very same thing and created a holiday to remind you. Thank her...and mean it. Tomorrow isn't promised let alone next year's mother's day.

Eat My Booby

I am constantly chastising myself for not watching my language around the kids. I've pretty much mastered all swear words, but occasionally my husband and I share some crude jokes or inappropriate slang that gets overheard by our three year old.

I don't always realize, however, just how closely she also models my behavior. What I am teaching her through my actions is equally as important as my words. I noticed this today when I snapped a picture of her doing something I found to be adorable, endearing, and hilarious all at the same time.

I found her in her play room cradling one of her baby dolls under her shirt saying "Come on baby, eat my booby." When she noticed me peeking around the door frame she shushed me because her baby was trying to sweep (sleep).

I couldn't hide my smile. How cute! It wasn't until revisiting the picture later that the enormity of her imaginary play hit me.

For better or worse, I am their example, of SO many things. While I may not always be their only, for the greater part of their lives I will be theirprimary definition of everything female: mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend...

What a great weight of responsibility I suddenly felt as I experienced this introspective moment. What am I teaching them by example about these many roles women play? Am I satisfied with the image I am portraying? What can I change? What will I change?

Should they read this someday, I hope they feel I have fulfilled the requirements I am now setting for myself, at least satisfactorally, and I pray they strive to do even better.

Mother: I want to be to them the mother I had, and the mother I didn't. I want to be the very personification of love, comfort, strength, safety, support, and discipline. I want to be their calm in the storm that is this world, and have them feel that home is wherever I am.

Wife:  While I cannot choose their husbands for them, I can hopefully influence the type of wife they will be. A Godly wife, a surrendered wife, and a strong wife. I hope to teach them to respect their husbands, to love with their whole hearts, and to be a faithful and dependable blessing to their spouses.

Sister: I didn't have a sister, but I am one. I want them to be for each other what my family is to me, a constant support and safe place to fall. I long for them to be and remain lifelong best friends.

Daughter: I would like for them to strive to make their father and I proud, as I have my parents. I hope to one day be their friend and confidant in adulthood as my parents have become for me. I hope they feel the same degree of love and gratitude for their upbringing that I do.

Friend: I hope that they will value friendships and choose the right people to befriend. I'd like for them to be acute judges of character and nuture friendships with individuals that will inspire and encourage them, surrounding themselves with positive influences only. I pray that their strongest relationship will be between themselves and God.

If possible, I want to spare them the hard lived lessons of their father and I, so that they can learn from their own mistakes without repeating ours.

While I know my daughter simply wanted to nurse her dolly to sleep in peace, I want to thank the future woman she'll become for arousing this new determination to be a better me in hopes of better raising them.

With any luck, and God's help, I will meet these expectations and "Eat my booby" will only be the first of many imitations I live to smile at.

 

Cosleeping Confession

I have been lying to our pediatrician and her nurse. They are two of the sweetest women in healthcare and have my kids' best interest at heart, but I did it anyway.

When they go through their list of what I call "silly" questions I am always happy to answer.

No there's still no lead based paint in our home, nope no one smokes around them, yes the baby's still exclusively breastfed, no they don't go to daycare....

Towards the end I start to feel like a real champ, like I'm aceing some sort of test...until they ask the really rotten question.

Where does she sleep?

I lie.

Kenzie-oh she sleeps in her own big girl bed. Not ENTIRELY a fabrication. She does...sometimes...for naps.

And Klara? Oh she sleeps in her expensive cosleeper that attaches right to our bed...not.

We tried, really we did. When Kenzie was born and I was still breastfeeding her I laid her in the cosleeper, and then I stared at her, and stared, and stared...and never slept. What if she stopped breathing? What if she suffered SIDS?! The possibility was all too horrifying to me, but so was everything I'd heard about cosleeping and moms rolling over on their babies.

So I just didn't sleep. I dozed, I snapped back awake, I touched her tiny little chest to make sure it was still moving up and down, and then I repeated. It was AWFUL. This couldn't be the sleep deprivation everyone warned me about. She still woke a gaziliion times a night to cluster feed, that seemed normal, but not this...

I'd heard the sage advice "sleep when the baby sleeps," but I was dumbfounded...how?! That's when she is most vulnerable and when I needed to protect her most!

And so it began...she would fall asleep on top of me and because I was so sleep deprived, after many nights of watching her slumber, I eventually fell unconscious as well...in the bed...with the baby. Ahhh! Thus began our cosleeping.

I endured endless nights of lower back discomfort, sleeping perfectly still and supine, so my darling baby could snore peacefully on my chest. Pretty soon Daddy was doing the same. Eventually, as she grew, she started sleeping in the crook of our arms, and then in the middle.

We carried on like this until she was 8 months old. Then Kenzie met her crib for the first time. She wasn't a fan. After a lot of work however, she grew accustomed to it and we "reclaimed" our bed.

Unfortunately, I let the secret slip to my husband that when he traveled for work, the crib was abandoned and I snuck her in with me. Instead of being upset, he was JEALOUS. This led to a compromise of sorts. Kenzie went to sleep in her crib/toddler bed, and when she woke in the night (and sometimes when Daddy simply missed her too much) she got an invite into our bed.

It worked for us. Kenzie was never a good sleeper and the saved trips to and from her room to soothe her seemed worth it....ok and maybe we liked it a little too (or a lot, to the point of arguing over who got to snuggle her).

Then came Klara. Klara doesn't know what a crib is, not even what her cosleeper is (sorry Doc). She sleeps in bed, with the three of us. It's a king, so yes, we all fit. She is still breastfeeding, and quite the clinger, but she sleeps THROUGH THE NGHT, and has from the very day we brought her home.

So there you have it..

We cosleep. Gasp, cringe, judgemental stares...


Don't care.

I have done my research on this just as I have everything else when it comes to my kids.

From what I've learned, a breastfeeding mother is exceptionally unlikely to ever roll onto or suffocate her baby. Why? Because we aren't capable of it. We are so in tuned to their little lives that our minds don't forget their existence and proximity to us even in our sleep. In fact, there is even a side lying nursing position every breastfeeding mother eventually finds herself naturally in that instinctively protects the baby through the night, both from rolling mom and dad, and from pillows and blankets etc. 

Cosleeping and Biological Imperatives  Research, and also the woman in the photo with her baby is in that magical breastfeeding position I mentioned.

I am also a huge proponent of attachment parenting and a lot of encouragement can be found in Martha Sears' books:

The Baby Sleep Book and The Attachment Parenting Book

We do take some precautions however.

• No pets are allowed in our bed. Period. While we love them, it is simply unhygienic and unsafe to have them share the bed with us. 
• Bed rails are required. Yes, we did put toddler bed rails on our king sized bed, and have even joked about having a king size crib built if we could. The rails aren't so much for the baby as they are for our tossing and turning toddler, but they keep everyone on the bed, no matter the sleeping arrangement. 
• We don't drink, and if by some off chance we ever did, we certainly would not sleep with the baby in our bed.
• Only mommy snuggles the baby. 

Don't get me wrong, co sleeping is not for everyone. Not all husbands are fans of family beds (I'm quite lucky mine is), and not all moms want to share their space and sleep.

I am not trying to influence anyone or change any opinions, but if you're harboring the same secret as us, take comfort, you aren't alone.

If you are a cosleeping family, like us, stop hiding in shame. You'd be surprised how common, although not commonly talked about, a family bed is. And it has it's benefits you can brag about!

• Our kids sleep through the night. Without question. If we decide to join them at bedtime we are able to log 10 or more hours of sleep right along with them. 
• Our kids feel safe and secure. Bedtime is NEVER a battle, it's a happy comforting, cuddly time. We also feel comfort in knowing they are right there beside us should some event take place. (long story short, we've woken up to earthquakes and lighting striking our house etc). Should there ever be a night time emergency, we are all together. 
• Our kids will sleep ANYWHWERE, provided one of us is present. Hotel rooms, other family members houses, and foreign beds are of no consequence. As long as we are there at bedtime, they're off to sleep. 
• It aids breastfeeding. What's easer than nursing with the baby lying right beside you?
• It allows bonding for both parents. Some of mine and my husband's favorite memories with our kids thus far include bedtime.

And as for the downfall you are all blushing but wondering about...

Thankfully we are able to afford multiple beds in our home. While the kids sleep in our bed every night, it is not at all necessary we remain in the bed with them. I believe that should answer any questions. Once they're peacefully asleep we crawl back out of bed and enjoy our evening until we are ready to join them.

Kenzie and I 

 

Klara and I

Klara and Kenzie

 

And evidence that they do sleep in their own beds occasionally and for naps...

Mother's Day Secret

Mother's Day is just around the corner, so I thought- why not help the men out there that have been fretting for weeks now over the absolute perfect gift to give to the young mom in their life....and those of you lazy bums who are now googling when Mother's Day is now that I brought it up.

Every year my husband does something thoughtful for me for Mother's Day. I always get 2 cards (1 from him and 1 from the kids), some years a special breakfast/brunch with some other moms in our lives (ours), and when I'm really lucky-flowers.

While these gifts are endearing and attempt to show his appreciation for the motherly role and tasks I live out 365 days a year, they aren't what I'd REALLY like...

After speaking with some other moms of young kids, I've compiled a short list of ideas for you loving husbands out there who want to TRULY knock the socks off the mother in your life this year. You may be surprised at how inexpensive Mother's Day might become. Maybe you'll be asking yourself "Why didn't I think of that?" Most importantly, however, you're going to make a woman in your life extremely happy she married you and had your babies. I'm going to let you in on a little secret..what we'd REALLY like for Mother's Day is a break!

A chance to sleep in!

I don't just mean for an extra ten minutes while listening to the kids whine for breakfast or the baby cry. I mean let her SLEEP! Wake up BEFORE the baby, sneak that toddler downstairs for some cereal, and let her catch some extra Z's! Every sleep deprived mother out there is nodding her head along with this one. If you want to score a few extra brownie points...cook breakfast, or better yet, when she wakes (ON HER OWN) let her shower without any children in the bathroom and get ready to be whisked off to a yummy breakfast at a restaurant so she doesn't even have to look at a sink of dirty dishes. (Big plus if mimosas are served.)

 

Clean the house!

I don't just mean pick up the living room and throw in a load of laundry. Sure that's nice, but this is Mother's Day. Ask yourself, what is it she nags about? What is she ALWAYS reminding you to do and yelling at you for NOT doing? DO THAT!

You're going to have to think for yourself a bit with this one, as I don't know your wife or her pet peeves, but let me give you a few examples. You know those clothes you leave on the closet floor or inches from the clothes hamper? PICK THEM UP! Better yet, wash them! One day without looking at your skid marked dirty boxer briefs is like a spa vacation in itself.

Those dishes you would normally throw in the sink still covered in your leftover dinner...scrape them off, wash them and put them away! You may have to do this by hand considering you're already washing a load in the dishwasher for her....aren't you..?!

Those toys laying around that she's always cursing after she steps on..put them away! The kids can even help you with this one. While you're at it, pick up the rest of the house as well.

 

Let her be lazy.

Save the sarcastic comments about "isn't that what she is every day anyway?" Shut up. After one day of letting her be "lazy" you will have a much greater appreciation for just how UNlazy she is.

Let her lay on the sofa, all day if she likes, most importantly with control of that magical instrument, the REMOTE! Let her watch TV, movies, DVR, soap operas, whatever she pleases for a few uninterrupted hours. It will be difficult but hopefully you can restrain yourself from commenting on her viewing selections and keep the kids from begging for cartoons, but trust me, she will appreciate it.

 

If you really must insist on buying her some type of gift or taking her out on the town might I sugguest putting a bit more thought into it than the Olive Garden and a sparkly t-shirt that says #1 Mom. If she wanted soup, salad and breadsticks she'd go out with her girlfriends, and if she wanted to deter every appreciative glance from everything male she'd buy herself the shirt. Believe me, the snot-nosed screaming kids in the shopping cart are doing more to announce she's taken and keep her married to you than any ugly mom themed gift she would feel obligated to wear.

Most importantly, pamper the mom in your life on this day and every day, whatever she considers pampering. We don't all require diamond rings and tropical vacations. A solo trip to the grocery store, a bottle of our favorite wine, a back rub, or a sincere "thanks for everything you do," is typically all most of us need to carry on happily through motherhood.