Folded Laundry

Saturdays with Dad | 5 Things I've Learned From My Wife

1)  My baby girls will still love me if I tell them no every once in awhile.. in fact it may even be good for them. In our house my wife is the bad cop most of the time if not always. What do you expect?! I have two of the most beautiful little princess’s in the world for daughters. The last word that comes to mind when speaking with them, looking at them, or thinking of them is “NO”. All they have to do is smile at Daddy and they are guaranteed to get whatever it is that they are looking for. The downside to this YES attitude of Daddy’s is that my girls can be spoiled little monkeys from time to time. I have learned, after watching my wife say the dreaded “NO” to my babies, that they may cry a little, but they get over it and within two minutes have forgotten all about it and still love her. In fact, now when she says no they don’t even fight back, they just move on. It’s not quite the same for me as of now but I am working on it slowly but surely. Maybe by the time they are 20ish I will have this whole “NO” thing mastered.

2)I can trust her with anything , as much or more than my best guy friend. For some reason after getting married, I forgot about the beautiful and funny girl that was just one of the guys and started thinking of her as the stereotypical wife that you have to keep all the “guy stuff” a secret from. My wife is far from the stereotypical house wife. When I met her I had an immediate attraction to her.. We hit it off perfectly. We laughed non-stop at one another while we were having a blast doing all kinds of “guy things”. Before we ever dated she was my friend (but not best friend because she was a stinky girl with girl germs) and I could tell her anything, ask for girl advice, and even kick back and drink some beers with her. Somehow after getting married and having kids I truly forgot about that girl and started only thinking of her as the mother of my children and no longer my best friend. One day recently she reminded me that she is still my friend and is still hilarious! She will even kick back and drink a beer with me from time to time!

3) The true meaning of success. The other day my wife sent me a quote from someone, or maybe paraphrased a quote she read, that said that success isn’t always defined by money or awards. It got me thinking about how I gauged success and I realized that I gauged it just as many of my friends and colleagues do, in money and/or level of power in your job. After thinking long and hard about this it made me realize what a vein person I am. I have a beautiful loving wife, two most beautiful little girls in the world and an amazing close knit family! Who could ever ask for more! No amount of money could ever buy that.. No job title will ever give me that.. I am HUGELY successful!!!!  And I have my wife to thank for opening my eyes to this!

4)  The way I think I look and the way I really look are two completely different things!! I used to be really into lifting weights and trying to get as big as physically possible. I ate everything in sight, I took every cool new supplement on the market and I worked out as much as my poor body could handle. I would check the scale twice a day to see just how heavy I really was and to make sure I hadn’t lost an ounce! My wife supported me in all of this because she knew just how passionate I was about it.. Then one day I asked her how I looked when I was soooo big (I was expecting this answer about how huge and sexy I was) and she said “You look like a huge pumpkin and have 3 chins” I was shocked! I was hell bent on proving her wrong.. That was until my mom walked into the room, laughed and agreed with her.  She then proceeded to grab pictures, like any loving mother does, just in time to embarrass you, and BAM! There I was.. Pumpkin head!! It was so true! I couldn’t believe it! I had somehow blocked out the fact that I looked so stupid and just kept going! Needless to say, those days are over.. and I now feel somewhat confident that she would say that I am muscular and handsome..  right honey???

5)   She has proven to me that I can and will do anything if I can be made to feel that I can’t do it or that it is a contest or competition of some sort. She is an expert at making me do anything and everything that she doesn’t want to do, or when I get in a slump, she knows just how to get me back on track. I have become a lot more successful in every aspect of my life now that I am able to make myself do something that I normally wouldn’t have thought twice about skipping or putting off. Because of this, I have now started my own supplement company, consulting company and am even writing this blog ever Saturday! All things I would’ve never touched prior to my wife pointing this out ot me!

Saturdays With Dad | Dream Team Surprise

I have worked 10 plus years in corporate America selling everything nutrition related. I have worked on sales teams within Fortune 50 corporations, and as the only sales guy in my one man consulting company I currently run.

During the years, on all of these different teams, we all shared one common goal: find new ways to make more sales! Sounds easy doesn't it? I mean heck, we had large groups of very talented sales professionals and a full team of paid consultants to keep our brainstorming organized, documented and on target! How much easier and more productive could it get?! 

I thought my past experience was the best scenario and the perfect method for hammering out new sales ideas and growing businesses, that is until divine intervention took place one night in my own living room. While watching How I Met Your Mother and enjoying a glass of Chardonnay with my gorgeous wife (yeah, she's hot but extremely intelligent as well) we are half watching TV and half evaluating a phone call I was on a little earlier. We were laughing at all the ideas these people had for a women's nutrition line when all of a sudden it happened! Suddenly hours had passed and notebook pages were filled with product ideas, marketing ideas, slogans, product names etc!

I was standing and pacing, as any ADHD unfocused sales guy would, my wife was leaning forward taking notes and throwing out some amazing ideas, when I noticed that it was done! We had just successfully developed what I think is going to be one of the largest female nutrition product lines ever! Not just supplements though! An entire business roadmap!! It was PERFECT!! And done in record time!!!

That's when the best part hit me!!! My amazing dream team was ..... my wife and I?! What the...?! I hadn't been that excited about an idea ever and it all came so natural and easy! It was so seamless! So perfect! 

I have always known my wife was an amazing woman, but she helped me realize that we truly are the perfect team, not just in marriage but in every aspect of life and work! She truly is my other.. Better half! She completes me! Helps make me a better me. 

Lesson learned and advice to you:

Don't overlook what's standing right in front of you. Sometimes the best asset you have and the person that can draw out the best in you is that person that knows you the best. Never knew my clean up hitter was busy rocking my kids to sleep. 

 

My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad

After becoming a father I realized I have some hefty expectations thrown upon my shoulders.  It’s not buying diapers, changing diapers or giving baths… It’s being everything that your children think you are!!!

I am sure each adult can look back and laugh when they think of all the things they thought their Dads were and could do! I thought my Dad was a big tough army guy that could beat up anyone, fix anything, make anything, and could buy anything he wanted!

I remember saying to my Dad “Hey Dad, we should get a Mercedez like that one over there!” He would just nod his head and say, "yes we should." I would tell him we should move into that huge house in that neighborhood with all the rich people. I truly thought my Dad could really do that stuff but just had a really good reason why he didn’t.

Well as it turns out, my Dad did have a good reason. He couldn’t afford it on Army salary, and he was actually a 5’8” man that probably couldn’t beat all that many people up. 

Now that I have two daughters, I am now wondering what type of expectations will they have of me? Am I going to have to get back into jiu-jitsu and kickboxing so I can beat up anyone? Am I going to have to buy a $5 million dollar home? Drive a Bugatti Veyron? (Daddy hopes and prays that stuff happens too girls!!)

All of this is a scary thought to me! Granted I am a 6 foot tall Marine Corps Veteran, Prior Mixed Martial Arts Competitor, President of my own company etc. That is all HISTORY! What's counts is the here and now! My daughter Kenzie had a fairly spoiled first few years, but now Daddy has started his own business and things aren’t quite what they used to be. We are no longer members of a prestigous country club with have a cleaning lady cleaning up all our messes around the house. Our life is fairly normal now and that haunts me each and every day. I want both my girls to live the life I never had and to look back one day, read this, and know that Daddy really was everything thing they ever expected and hopefully more. This is now my driving force as I dive into my work and know I HAVE to make this new venture a success. I have a couple little princess’s that need a true super hero of a daddy and the life of a real princess.

P.S. Sorry honey (Kelli)! I will be very busy with mixed martial arts classes and a very heavy workload. Hope you don’t mind! : )

 

Love, 

Super Hero Daddy

5 Myths About Women

5 Myths about women that have been BUSTED since I had daughters:

1)  "Girls don't fart." I always thought that girls were so cute and sweet that they didn’t fart, EVER! Well, after having two daughters I have found out that farting is as much fun for them, if not more so, than it is for us guys. My two year old, Kenzie, will not hesitate to squeeze until her face turns red to let out a loud burst that would make any grown man blush, then run around saying, "daddy!! I farted!" My tiny baby Klara is no better, constantly lets out Bronx cheers that leave me speechless! 

2)“Girls can only pee sitting down or squatting."  I have been peed-off many times but never peed ON until I had a baby girl! My Kenzie Grace does everything full force, to include peeing! One day a few months ago, we were working outside in the yard and Kenzie came running to me and said she had to pee, right now! Seeing no other option available, I took off her shorts and told her to squat down and pee outside.. Apparently she has seen daddy pee too many times and decided to not squat at all but to stand and push her pee out as hard a physically possible. I thought for a second my daughter might actually be a son. Truly, women are amazing creatures! 

3)“Girls are just too perfect to snore.” – Wow is all I have to say! Both of my beautiful angels snore like the devil sawing wood! Kenzie will lay on her back with her hands behind her head and she will snore non-stop going from soft and sweet to straight up grizzly bear loud!! It’s the CUTEST thing I have ever seen! Some nights I love nothing more than rubbing her back and watching my little angels sleep and snore to beat the band!

4) "Girls don't burp much, but if they do they do it quietly and in private." This again was a major bust. My little girls have zero shame in letting out huge loud burps and laughing hysterically afterwards. My wife, on the other hand, I can honestly say I have never heard burp.. I guess there is an unwritten woman rule that after a certain age you stop burping in front of boys.

5)“Women do not poop....Period!" This is one that I have personally told myself since I was little. Well, my two little girls and one too many diaper changes have made me grow up and come to grips with the fact that girls DO poop. Baby Klara has been known to poop so much it goes up her back and all over her clothes. Kenzie Grace is famous for leaving some very large surprises in her little toilet, I can no longer shelter myself from the thought of women going #2. 

 

Since having our beautiful daughters, I have been forced to grow up and realize that women do all the same things as men and are equally as disgusting. I now realize just how much self control women must have to keep all this a secret! I want to thank my wife for keeping her secrets and my beautiful daughters for helping daddy come to grips with his silly made up myths! I love you girls with all my heart!!

Love,

Daddy

 

Saturdays with Dad

I've been having way too much fun with this blog lately, and I've decided to involve my husband.

I hope to use this blog as a legacy for my daughters and also as a sounding board for other parents. Besides the fact that I feel my husband has just as many witty and intelligent things to share, I also think it would be a nice touch for them (and you) to hear from his perspective every so often.

Due to this, I am starting a new section...Saturdays with Dad, where my wonderful husband can share his advice and anecdotes with you all. Without further adeiu...here's the big man himself!

The day that my wife, Kelli, told me she was going to start writing a blog, I thought to myself "about what and what for? Our life is boring and not one person would ever want to read about our simple life."

Well, needless to say after reading her first blog I was stunned! Not only did she have something to write about, but it was awesome! I couldnt believe what an amazing writer she was, or how much happens in her day that I didnt notice!

As you may know, she is a stay at home mom who takes care of our huge country house and our family of kids and animals. I have learned that my wife is not only beautiful and amazing with our family BUT she is also very skilled in writing and very witty. She writes like the young woman I fell in love with a handful of years ago. Full of energy and laughter. It made me realize that not only do I miss a lot of what she deals with everyday, but I also don't spend enough time with her to let the true Kelli come out.

I am so stressed, tired and obviously self-centered after my "hard" day in the office that I dont even notice what she has dealt with, nor do I ask.. Her blog has not only given her a way to vent about her day but it has also made me realize, subtly, just how much more I need to be there for her and our family. Work will always be there but these precious moments and my beautiful wife may not be. 

Man lesson of the day.. , the world does NOT revolve around you and your schedule.. It revolves around your FAMILY.. Take the time to away from your laptop or blackberry and spend real time with your family and alone time with your wife. They need you more than you know and you need them more than you might be willing to admit.